Dreams

Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom
Well who am I to keep you down
It’s only right that you should
Play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat.. drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost…
And what you had…
And what you lost
Thunder only happens when it’s raining
Players only love you when they’re playing
Say… Women… they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean… you’ll know
Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself
It’s only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and…
Have you any dreams you’d like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness…
Like a heartbeat… drives you mad…
In the stillness of remembering what you had…
And what you lost…
And what you had…
And what you lost
Thunder only happens when it’s raining
Players only love you when they’re playing
Say… Women… they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean… you’ll know
Fleetwood Mac, Rumors, 1977.  Writer: Stevie Nicks.
To analyze the symbols or themes of this work would be a waste of time.  “What you had,” and “what you lost” evokes remembrance of a life that we once understood but now do not.  I keep my visions to myself is something I relate to with my family.  My life isn’t something plagued with internal struggle.  But this song really hits on somethings that I feel.
I remember first hearing it as a little kid.  Inside my dads car, we’d turn the CD-player up all the way to hear the whole Rumors album play.  It really was hard to pick just one of their songs.  Stevie Nicks voice  is simply resonant and unique; unmatched by any other artist.
This song reminds me of my relationship with my sister.  She was always the undeniable dreamer in the family.  Ever since we were little, she was planning a full-scale dolphin tank to be built in our backyard.  Of course some aspects of this song, such as an implied separation, don’t really apply to our relationship.  However, there was and still remains and undeniable emotional distance between she and I.  “You want your freedom” is perhaps the most obvious.  My sister, as much as she loved my family, was an absolute dreamer.  She wanted to be free and not anchored down by our realism.
Sitting in front of the T.V for 14 years of my life alongside my family shows a clear indication of my sister’s individuality.  My mom, my dad, and I, all crowded around our then 20in box, while my sister searched in encyclopedias for her favorite animals.
Of course I never resented this diversion, but I did always feel an inherent disconnect between my sister and I.  Reminding her once that she “won’t be with us forever.”
In the final months before she left for college she and I did everything we could to cement our sisterhood so that it would last long distance.  And we became a lot closer.  Thunder, does only happen when it’s raining.  As she and I were forced to get over our differences, to see that we were fundamentally similar.
“I keep my visions to myself”—As I criticized my sister as a kid for being so unique, I realized how much I actually oppressed her self-confidence.  She was an introvert, and I an extrovert, but I made a big effort as a child to keep any feelings of connectivity with my sister to myself.  It was her fault, I initially believed.  Later I realized that I had made few changes to actually find Ambiversion between us.
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